T’was the last Energy Report before Christmas
And all through the pits,
Traders were wondering
If we’d go off the cliff.
A hoped for deal
Sent us up a tear,
But then came “Plan B,”
That Democrats screamed was unfair.
Republicans want to cut spending
To get us out of the red,
Democrats have visions
Of taxing rich people instead.
And Obama says
There’s just a few hundred billion dollar gap
And it does not make sense
To continue this flap.
Yet up in the House
There arose such a clatter,
Speaker John Boehner
Said that the talks were in tatters.
No to the tax cuts
Unless you make a million in cash!
And if Obama disagrees
Then the market might crash.
The biggest tax hike in history
Would be a very big blow
And all the Christmas shoppers
Might quit spending their dough.
We’ll start to wonder
If any new jobs could appear
If all of our taxes go
Up when we start the New Year.
The politicians had
To put their spin on this quick,
And blaming the other guy
Is always the trick.
More rapid than eagles
The sound-bites they came,
They were angry and shouted,
And they called each other names!
Now, Boehner! Now Obama!
Now Reid and Pelosi!
You all say the other
Is as scary as Bella Lugosi
As Congress passes to torch
And our backs to the wall!
They have to agree on a deal
Or the market will fall.
As luck then would have it
The oil did fly,
After we saw oil inventories
We jumped to the sky.
Was starting to brew
With declining distillates
The bears became few.
And then, in a twinkling,
Prices shot through the roof
And now it was the bears
That had the burden of proof.
Heating oil drew,
And was turning around,
And even the RBOB
Started turning around.
The traders had better start
Covering their puts,
As the weather premium
Could make the downside caput.
It seems that oil
Is back on an upward track,
Despite more production
As we continue to frack.
I know how the fracking
Has made some people wary
Because shooting liquid in rock
To some seems quite scary.
Yet producing more oil
Helps our economy grow,
And that is much better
Than sending OPEC our dough.
Riches come out
From those pipes underneath,
And soon time
It will make our gas prices cheap.
With more natural gas
Our air won’t be smelly,
and we can send our exports to China
And even New Delhi.
We can drill in the sand
Oor the continental shelf.
We can drill in the rock
I get giddy myself!
We can drill with our
New oil platform beds
And forget about peak oil,
We have nothing to dread.
And with fracking
We see continuing perks.
We will fix our economy
And put people to work.
The stock market should rally
How far could it go?
The U.S. economy
Will put in a low!
With oil exports
Stocks could rise like down of a thistle
Or even as high
As a rocketing missile.
Our soldiers are fighting
In lands far away,
And we should remember
To pray for them each passing day.
It is for freedom
that they are putting up this incredible fight.
So to them and all of you,
Merry Christmas and good night!
